Blessed
by haikyo
Summary: A story about an original character in the Madoka universe - Her name means "blessing."  But no sane human being would consider her existence such a thing, lest the word be twisted gruesomely beyond recognition.
1. Prelude

It was only by the grace of God that I was allowed to live. That is what my mother and father always told me. And yet as I lie here on my back with a man above me and a gun pointed at my head, I wonder where God is now. Has He forsaken me? Or was there never such a being to begin with? Why would I be given miraculous life if it were to end so early, so painfully, so suddenly?

* * *

><p>According to my father, my now disappeared mother gave birth to me almost two months early. I was severely underweight, and had multiple heart and lung complications. Simply put, I was going to die before I even had a chance to live. And then, a so called miracle occurred. My emotionally distraught mother claimed to have met with God, and begged him to allow me to live, even at the cost of her own life. I don't know if she really met God or not, but fact of the matter is I'm here now. Who or whatever it was that granted her wish seemed to spare her, as she continued to live on, raising me with my father. I was named Megumi, meaning "blessing".<p>

She was a kind woman who raised me with much love. At first, at least. As the years went by she became more and more distant. I can remember fights often breaking out between her and my father over her absence. She was depressed and temperamental, swinging violently from mood to mood, lashing out at whoever happened to be closest. But that was only the beginning.

I believe I was around 8 when my mother began slip away from reality, that is to say, 6 years ago. She claimed to have spoken with God many times. This was not so unusual, as she was a devout Christian. It was natural for her to believe in such things. But it was not so simple. Her words slowly began to change from praise to bitter, spiteful remarks. She called Him a liar, a murderer, a thief, a false idol. Being as young as I was, I did not understand how my mother, once a devoted believer, had fallen into a Nietzsche-esque pattern of verbal heresy. But approximately one year ago, when I was 13 years old, I understood. It was merely one brief moment, but at that moment understanding washed over me, and that understanding quickly morphed into terror as the revelation settled in.

It was the last time I ever saw my mother.

I remember it so vividly that I could almost relive it just by recalling it. Of course, it was only a year ago, but it still remained etched so deeply into my mind that I truly believed I would see it when I die. I was coming home from school one day, and as I walked through the front doorway I noticed an eerie stillness to the house. This stillness was almost immediately broken by an unholy shrieking. I ran to the source of the sound and found my mother, shaking, pointing a gun at a strange furry creature. She resumed screaming countless profanities in an almost incomprehensible stream. But there was a few words that I could make out: liar, murderer, thief. My mother was screaming at what she believed to be God.

It was then I realized; this was what my mother saw lying in the hospital bed, with my crippled form cradled in her arms. It was then I realized, that my mother had not been spared. She had been cursed far, far beyond mere death.

That, however, was all I knew. I did not know the context of anything that I witnessed that day. I did not know what that creature really was, or what it had really done to my mother.

My mother fired a shot at the mysterious entity. It missed. And then, she collapsed. That is all I can remember, as after that I was knocked out by a bizarre explosion. My house was entirely destroyed, and I was left in critical condition, buried under the rubble, when my father returned to find me.

But I lived. It was as if the events of my day of birth were repeated. Brutally and ruthlessly twisted, but the parallel was clear as day to me. My mother encountered God, and a miracle occurred. But no sane human would called what happened this time a miracle. It was a disaster. I'd rather have died then and there.

* * *

><p>The events of that day and the years preceding it were shoved into the deepest pits of my mind by my subconscious. My father as well. It is only, as I believed, upon my concrete death bed that I recall them. As I attempt to empty my mind in preparation of being stripped of my innocence and my life, the memories come flooding in. It was a brief recollection, however, as I hesitantly shift my view to my side, and see a white, animal like creature. Realization once again hit me like the bullet about to be emptied into my skull; this was Him. This was the God that my mother had contracted with, the God that had allowed me to live until this day.<p>

I heard it in my head:

"Would you like to make a contract with me?"

The memories of my mother were drained from my mind, along with my common sense, by my instinctual drive to survive. Had I been in my right mind, I would have accepted my fate and ignored the offer. But I was not so lucky.

"If you do, I'll grant you one wish."

And so, the words flew through my mind, and managed to break their way through my frozen lips.

"I wish…to escape from this fate...to live."

* * *

><p>I have no idea where I'm going with this, or if I'll even go anywhere at all with it. I just wanted to write something, okay?<p> 


	2. Like Mother, Like Daughter

I felt a sensation that could only be described as my soul being sucked out of me. I was enveloped in a white light, and the man was pushed back with astounding force. When the light cleared, he was gone, but more peculiar was myself. I was dressed some sort of short white gown, trimmed with gold thread, and with feathery plumes hanging from the skirt and sleeves.

"What…is this?"

"You're a magical girl now."

"A what?"

"A magical girl! It's exactly what it sounds like."

"Hey…I didn't ask for this!"

"But you did! You made a contract with me."

It's right. This was what I signed up for, even if I did not know it at the time.

"Hmph…so how do I get out of this stupid outfit?." The flowing white dress and its golden lace seemed to imply I was some sort of divine being. It made me sick. Must I carry my supposed gift on my back wherever I go, for the rest of eternity?

"Just concentrate your mind out changing out of it."

I didn't know what that meant exactly, but it seemed to work. The white light appeared once again, though this time it's presence was much briefer. When it faded, I was back in my tattered school uniform.

"Oh, and you'll be needing this." spoke the creature suddenly. As he said it, a small white gem appeared before me, landing in my hands. It was encased in silver, and looking into it I felt as if I was staring into my own soul.

"That's your soul gem. It's your source of power."

Soul gem. So I was right. Was the white color supposed to represent the purity of my soul, draped in the light of God himself? How laughable.

But that was not important now. I was tired and beaten, and I had to return home before this situation gets any worse. As I took my first step I noticed it was surprisingly easy, consider my legs had just been crushed under the weight of a grown man. I ignored the thought and continued to walk towards my house.

"You may have noticed that your wounds from what just happened have been healed. That's a part of your power - accelerated healing."

I stopped in my tracks. The white furball was following me still, and seemed to be talking to me. What it was talking about was anyone's guess. My power?

I had apparently spoken my thoughts out loud, as it quickly replied:

"Your power as a magical girl. It has many other facets as well, your potential is quite great. "

Potential?

"I'm Kyuubey by the way. I'll be accompanying you from now on. Don't worry, normal people can't see me."

I was dumbfounded, but I decided to brush it off. My wounds may have been healed, but I was still extremely tired. I just wanted to lie in my bed and drift off into the escape known as sleep, waking up to find things all as they should be.

How naïve I was.

* * *

><p><em>I felt an excruciating pain swelling within my shoulder blades. I fell to my knees and clasped my hands over my mouth to muffle the screams. Something emerged from my back, some sort of appendage, one protruding from either side.<em>

_Wings._

_Yes, I thought. I was an angel after all. A child of God. This was my rebirth, my ascent into heaven._

_But as the wings had been fully unsheathed they began to wrap around my body in a sort of embrace. It was then I noticed that were not wings at all, but arms._

_Arms. Complete with hands, too. Draped around one hand was a white rosary with a cross hanging from it. The same cross my mother would grasp as she counted her blessings._

_I can remember how I was always first on her list._

_I was being literally embraced, by…myself? Or was it my mother? It was then I heard a voice. It was unmistakable. Gentle, as a mother would hold her child, it spoke out to me._

"_My child, Megumi. You've met with a terrible fate. But I'm sure you've realized this by now, haven't you?"_

_It was without a doubt the voice of my late mother._

"_You don't know yet, though. You don't know exactly how terrible your end will be. But rest assured, through all the pain, you will be blessed once again, and reunited with me. Like mother, like daughter, you shall suffer as I did, and in the end, we will meet in heaven. I eagerly await the day I can embrace precious gift for real, holding her again't my breast, kissing her as I once did during my time on earth."_

_And then -_

_Fade to black. No. White._

* * *

><p><em><em>A short chapter, with not much happening. Oh well, let's hope I can at least build up to something good.


	3. A Fading Life, or No Turning Back

I am not so foolish as to believe in something as silly as dreams having prophetic properties. I know that what I saw last night in my slumber was not truly a message from my mother but a materialization of my own innermost fears. But let me tell you right now, I will overcome those fears. I will not end up like my mother. I swear that upon the very grave she was so cruelly denied.

* * *

><p>Today's commute to school was a hazy and lonely one. Well, it was always lonely, but today I felt especially isolated from the swarm of students around me. School had just started 1 few weeks ago, and I had just transferred here. My father wanted to move far away from where our old home once stood, for obvious reasons. As such, I have not made any friends yet. But I am okay with that for the most part, I'm perfectly capable of functioning without using others as crutches.<p>

The haziness was more curious.

My body was still exhausted from yesterday's affair, and my unpleasant ethereal encounter last night had left me even more drained. I had also began to feel an indescribable sensation within me, something akin to the sensing of presences not before felt. I'm guessing this had something to do with this whole "magical girl" thing. Speaking of which…

"Why are you following me to school?"

"You never know when one might show up."

My inquiry to the creature I met last night - Kyuubey - was met with the same unphased tone of speech delivering an enigmatic answer in the same cryptic manner.

"One what?"

"A witch."

Blunt. As if I should know all this already. As usual.

"What are you talking about…" I muttered to myself. I expected an answer, seeing as how he answered even mere fleeting thoughts.

There was none.

* * *

><p>"Kawakami-san."<p>

"Yes, Mrs. Sahashi?"

"Please come up to the board and complete this equation."

And so I did, as I did every other day.

Seeing as how my social life was non-existent at this point, I had a lot of time to devote to my studies. This resulted in me becoming a teachers favorite to solve difficult problems. It was the same every time; I get called up to the bored, answer some complex math equation or something to that effect with ease, and all of a sudden the class is in awe. I did not my see the marvel in my academic skills, I just did as I always have. I often get bombarded with compliments on how "smart" I am or questions on how I reached such a level, and I always gave the same, uninterested answers: "I don't know, I just am." or "I just study a lot, is all." I want to tell them off, advising them to stop texting during class or screwing around with their girlfriends all weekend long, but I abstain as I see no point in rudeness.

I sit alone at lunch, as usual, but I don't eat as I don't feel hungry. Not unusual, a little food goes a long way for me. What is new, though, is Kyuubey sitting on the table in front of me, idly swinging his tail back and forth.

"Can I help you?" I ask with snide.

"I can sense one," he replies.

"A witch?"

"Yes. Can't you feel it?"

Now that he mentions it…"Actually, I think I did feel something ominous on the walk to school today…"

"Ahh, heightened perception. Another one of your many perks."

At that moment, commotion arose in the lunchroom, and a scream erupts. I look around, searching for the cause. And then I see it. At the front of the room, up by the lunch counter, a student is poised with a gun in hand. She possesses short dark hair, and a look of agony on her face. She is pointing the gun at a rather plain looking boy, standing next to her in line.

"How could you!" she shrieks.

A teenage love affair, chances are. But how twisted must this girl be to pull a gun over something like that?

I quickly realized that now is not the time for such thoughts as the girl with the gun shirts her aim to a student running towards her…and shoots.

The bullet grazes the girl's arm, and flies right past my head. I fall back in shock as more screams and gasps fill the room. I'm sitting on the floor as Kyuubey suddenly speaks up.

"That girl, she's possessed. By a witch."

"What?" I exclaim. I was worried for an instance that I would draw attention but my exclamation is quickly lost in the sea of confusion and panic that is now the cafeteria.

"Witches feed off of misery. To get this, they posses vulnerable people and drive them to acts like this." He says it so calmly that it almost angers me. "That's…that's…"

Terrible. Horrifying. Sickening.

"Will you fight it?" His nonchalant question snaps me out of my stream-of-conscious reminiscent trance and back into reality. Though I'd rather it didn't, right now.

"Fight it!"

"It's your job. As a magical girl."

This again.

Another shot is fired. This time at an intervening teacher. This time, it doesn't miss. I decide that I can let this go on no longer. But my thoughts are still clouded my dozens of questions.

"Here? Will I fight it here, in front of everyone?"

"Witches reside in another realm parallel to this one. If you choose to fight it, I will bring you there, so no one will see you."

"I accept." I say it with such clarity that it shocks me, though Kyuubey still does not falter.

"Okay. Close your eyes for a minute." I do so. I immediately feel the world warping around me, and when the feeling subsides, I open my eyes to find myself in a surreal world that appears to be made out of patchwork. Colors and patterns of every variation adorn what was once the lunch room. It looks like a bad scrapbook. The pieces of this bizarre world jitter around erratically. As I observe in awe the new world that surrounds me, a familiar white light returns to engulf me once again. As it fades, I'm again guised in my gaudy pseudo-angelic costume.

The ground of this strange world begins to shake, and a stairway emerges in front of me, with a door materializing in a cloud of disjointed, nightmarish looking butterflies.

"This is the gate to the witch's residence. If you enter, you will be face to face with the creature that possessed your classmate. Will you go in? You can still turn back.."

That's a lie. As I faintly hear another shot being fired, I know I can't turn back. As I recall the contract I made, the dream I had, the things I witnessed years ago, I know.

There's no turning back.

* * *

><p>Fuck formatting. I still don't know what I'm doing.<p> 


	4. How an Angel Got Her Wings

I walk towards the stairs, Kyuubey following closely behind. I stop at the bottom briefly, swallow hard, and begin my ascent. I'm nearly at the top when Kyuubey calls out to me,

"Wait."

I stop in my tracks. He speaks again,

"You'll want to materialize your weapon first."

My weapon. Yes, I'll be fighting a monster in there. It had not yet occurred to me how I would be doing this, so it's a good thing he stopped me. "Okay, how do I do that?"

"Just picture it in your mind and focus your energy on forming it, like you did with your outfit the other night."

I have to picture it? I didn't know much about weaponry, but I do recall an antique crossbow that my father owned. An antique might not be the best choice here, so I decide to make it a bit more fantastical, more magical. I imagine a large crossbow with a stock made of white marble, and a bow made of light wood trimmed with silver. I might as well make it match my outfit. As I focus on the divine looking instrument, light gathers in my hand only to fade quickly, revealing just what I had pictured. It floats in front of me, and I reach out to grasp it with my arm. I expect to be pulled down by it's weight as it's quite large, but to my surprise it feels as if it weighs nothing at all. I suppose it really is magical.

I examine it carefully and find it unloaded. Crap, I forgot about the ammo. Where will I get it?

"It's magical, silly. It will create its own ammo."

Great, he's reading my mind again. Oh well, at least now I know. I finally ascend the last few steps, and the large, elaborately designed door swings open, knocking me back slightly. A strong wind pours out from inside, which seems to be completely dark. I walk through the doorway, only to encounter black, velvet curtains. No wonder it looked so dark. I nudge them gently, only for them to reel back in a highly cinematic fashion. I close my eyes and take a deep breath while I still can. When I open them, revealed is…

When I open my eyes, I find am surrounded by thick black bars. I examine the entire area immediately, and realize that I am in a cage. Seeing as how the bars curve up to a point at the top, I assume it must be a bird cage. A cage for a small, harmless bird, such as a canary. But in this case, that couldn't be further from the truth.

The creature first comes into my vision mere minutes after my entrance, though it had felt like an eternity. Had it just appeared, or had it been there the whole time? That doesn't matter, as it's here now, and I have to fight it. Alone.

It is an enormous, anachronic looking being vaguely resembling a real life hawk. Except this one appears to be made of some unnatural substance resembling earthly metal, thought I know it must be unearthly as it came from…here. It looks like it had been glued together by a child, as sharp, metallic plumes jet out from it's body in every direction. I approach it cautiously in an attempt to avoid being noticed.

It doesn't work, as before I know it a huge, sharp strip of metal is lodged into the ground several meters in front of me. Did it…fire this at me? I'm answered by another one hurdling towards me, this time locked dead on to my position, ready to pin my body to the ground. I'm prepared to die, but in a what I thought to be futile attempt to escape, I jumped, expecting to reach a height no higher than a a dozen centimeters or so, as usual.

To my shock, I find myself suspended a dozen or so _meters_ in the air, the projectile penetrating the ground below me with a thundering sound. I don't know how I did it, and I expect to fall any moment, but that moments never comes. I look around me to find to huge, white wings flapping slowly and gracefully behind me.

Another sick joke. But I have to time scoff at it, for another metal spear is flying my way. I rely on gut instinct to navigate me away from it once again, and it works. I fly with surprising speed, given the size of the wings, to my right, and the spear flies through the bars into the grey nothingness beyond.

Okay. I think I've got this. I swallow once again and build up all the confidence I can muster, and swing the bow in front of me. I pull the trigger, and there is a quick flash, clearing to reveal a pearly white bolt. It ejects and flies at great speed towards my enemy. Mid-flight, several stocks jet out from the main one, and they leave behind a tail of golden light. The magical projectile makes contact with the enemy, only to be deflected by the bird like creatures steel-like armor.

Crap, I should've expected this. This is like those boss fights in video games, I have to find it's weak spot in order to actually hurt it.

Except this time, I've got no lives to spare.

After flying around aimlessly avoiding countless metal pillars, I begin to tire and lose hope. I wonder if it's even any use fighting anymore, consider what was going on in the real world must have been over. but then I remember all those sci-fi novels I've read, and recall how in different planes of space, time can pass by at different paces. There's still hope.

I've been grazed multiple times, but thanks to my healing ability I'm still in passable condition. At a loss for what to do, I fly directly at the witch. I search all over for something, anything that is unarmored. As I come to it's head, I realize that I never really looked at it before. It is the only smooth part of it's body, making it resemble a bald eagle somewhat. It then comes to my attention that it has no eyes, only holes in place of where they should be. Red light emanates from inside, giving the illusion of two glowing read eyes.

Jackpot. I jet up towards the top of the cage until I am level with it's head. It swipes at me with its deformed wings, but I fly backwards just in time. It stumbles, not surprising given how much it must way, and takes a few moments to get back on its feet. I take the opportunity to fire as many consecutive bolts at it as quickly as possible. I am at the holes in its head, and pull the trigger repeatedly as fast as my small fingers will allow. Each one of them hits dead on, and torrents of what looks like liquid mercury pour out from the sockets. That must be its blood, meaning I hit its heart, or its "core" or even its brain, if witches have such things.

And then I am blown back by a massive explosion. I flap my wings as rapidly as I can in an attempt to stop my backwards movement before I hit the wall. I manage to succeed, but only barely. When the light, smoke, and debris clear, I see a small black object land on the floor, with a tinny sound to accompany it. I land on the ground and run towards it, curious.

"A grief seed," speaks an all too unfamiliar voice.

Kyuubey is behind me. "A what?" I ask, for the second time today.

"Witches leave them behind when you defeat them. You need them to restore your depleted power and purify your soul gem.

Hesitantly, I pick the object up. Following Kyuubey's words, I take my soul gem from the pocket sewn on the breast of my gown. I notice that the pure white had indeed been dirtied a bit, with black specks flickering around inside of it. As I hold the so called "grief seed" next to it, the blackness is drawn out of it.

At that time, my soul had been physically cleansed, but it only marked the beginning of its complete descent into darkness.


	5. Interlude I: The First Flight

Allow me to explain my relationship with God.

I have no idea if such a being exists or not. I may have been taught my whole life that one did, but it never quite stuck with me. However, I will live my life as if what I was taught were true, not out of fear of or obligation to an entity that I question the existence of, but simply because I believe in the ideals preached by his believers.

I may often seem cold, but I assure you that I believe in love and mercy. I take up this job for the sole purpose of protecting my fellow human beings. I will not fall victim as my mother did, I will persevere and utilize my newfound powers to fight for the greater good.

I will not become a victim. For there is no reason to believe I am one. I have been granted the ability to do something normal people cannot. I once considered my contract with Kyuubey a mistake, but I now realize that it is a blessing if I ever received one.

If there is truly a God and what I do is still considered sin, then I will gladly begin my descent down the first flight of stairs to hell. If it is an evil to kill that which kills then it is a necessary one that I will carry on my back for the rest of eternity. For I am not like my mother. I am not fighting for God. I am fighting for what I believe in.

I am fighting for myself.

* * *

><p>FOOOOOOOOOORESHADOWING.<p> 


End file.
